Malaika

• THE WAKE DREAMER

  The sun is up, but that is not news to you,no.You watched as the dead of the night slowly surrendered it’s space to the rays of the morning sun.You always do,day in,day out,you do.Everyone seems so comfortable,sunkissed.The rays rest so mildly yet cosily on their faces.You however,it would scorch.You are not sure why everything feels so intense.Your feelings , your senses ,so heightened.Your mind has made beautiful spaces of every place you walk into.The colors seem so alive, surreal.The price you have to pay however,clarity, sharpness, steadiness.Go all the way and soon, well, sanity.So you stumble across the day in a flashy haze.A little weary but you do not need to shut your eyes, you will slacken the process,”lose the zone”,you tell yourself.You still dream, maybe a little more even.Just not in the still of the night.And you’re left wondering, if it all ever falls back into place, will you be forced to surrender your powers, will your halo be snatched from you, will you be inevitably forced back into the crowd?

  

  31st May 2023

  Uncategorized

  #delusional., #dreamy, #insomnia

• MORNING DEW(THE DROP OF REAWAKENING)

    There’s always one day,a random day,nothing special about it,but it’s ‘the’ day,it certainly is a day worthy of remembering.

  You come across old pictures as you’re springcleaning,you find some of your old journals,a piece artwork you once made,a pair of old ballet shoes you once wore or you maybe bump into a childhood friend who in the name of ‘childhood memories’,can’t stop gushing over how good a dancer,singer or artist you were,how debateclub wasn’t debate club without you in it or how the school football team was always assured of a win any time you played.

  At first you reminisce in passive nostalgia,maybe you even smile at the memories of those days,at the passion of those longgone days but that’s all you do,reminisce.I mean,you can’t possibly go back there now,can you?You have a good job as a project manager in a reputable company ,you are in your final year of study and seriously preparing for that economics project or you’re simply able to live within your means and are blessed enough  to have a good beautiful family,enough good times,vacations even,anything else is just vain ,right?

  But then you dwell on the memories a little longer than you should ,you even remember some more ,you find yourself sharing with your partner or friend ,telling them about this one time when ‘I did this’,’they used to say this’,’they even started calling me this’,and you simply can’t stop.It’s quite thrilling to feel it or a version of it again.

  You find that you stretch it a little more and you’re now trying to vocalise your old favorite tunes,you’re sketching everyone and everything on your way,you’re even throwing imaginary hoops all over the house.

  A few weeks go by and you start noticing that maybe your life feels a little’good but not really exciting’ and you can’t help but wish you could squeeze in some athletic activity or a studio session into your schedule and an innocent intrusive thought quickly builds into an effort to make those things a part of your routine.

  Then begins the journey to you resurrecting a version of yourself you had for some reason kept buried,your fight to bring back lost dreams,chasing that ‘I was made to shine’ conviction you once so strongly held and a firm decision to stick it out till you see how far you could possibly go this time.

  

  21st May 2023

  Uncategorized

  #dreams